Are you someone who understands how useful conversations across divides can be, but is reluctant to engage because you feel unsafe or unprepared? Here is a short list of very useful resources for people who would like to learn more about having constructive and safe conversations despite stark differences in perspectives and beliefs.
I Never Thought Of It That Way. (Monica Guzman). An easiy and enjoyable read by Ms. Guzman, a Senior Fellow for Public Practice at Braver Angels. She stresses curiosity and listening to understand. Her book is based on herpersonal need to have honest conversations with family members with very different and deeply held beliefs.
You’re Not Listening by Kate Murphy. An excellent book for people who want to become a skilled listener and make better connections. This book considers listening the most important part of any conversation and helps teach how to listen effectively. Much of the material in the book is
covered in this interview.
How to Have Impossible Conversations by Peter Boghossian. A detailed discussion with many examples of a wide range of practical techniques underlying successful conversations
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How Minds Change by David McRaney. A well done book about how minds do (and don’t) change, and about both the art and the science that underlies constructive conversations. He discussed much of what is in his book in
this podcast episode.
The Scout Mindset by Julia Galef. A book about the differences between framing conversations across divides with a scout mindset (exploring new territory) as opposed to a warrior (defending one’s territory). Her approach is also described in her
TED talk and in a series of short videos on her
YouTube channel.
Just Listen by Mark Goulston. A book about how to do the kinds of skilled listening that lowers barriers and finds common ground between people with starkly opposing views or beliefs.
The
Street Epistemology website. Street epistemology is a conversational approach that emphasizes authenticity, attentiveness (listening), and autonomy and helps people learn to have civil and thoughtful conversations. The web site a resource where one can access videos, take courses, and learn and practice conversation.
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NOT recommended:
How To Know a Person by David Brooks. Although his commitment to listening is obvious, this book is unfortunately both derivative (superficial coverage of material from other sources like the references above) and more about David Brooks than about connecting to other people.
